18 Things Much Easier than ‘New Year, New You’

1. New year, new shampoo
2. New year, new shoes
3. New year, new tattoo
4. New year, new houseplant
5. New year, new mildew
6. New year, new toothbrush
7. New year, new haircut
8. New year, new sandwich order at that place you go to every week
9. New year, new to-do list or to-do list item
10. New year, unsubscribe from one email list
11. New year, delete a social media app from your phone
12. New year, remember to write “2020” instead of “2019” by the end of January
13. New year, declare email bankruptcy by deleting your entire inbox and starting over
14. New year, lube your bike chain
15. New year, nihilism
16. New year, new wall calendar
17. New year, small but attainable change that is much easier to commit to and follow through with, thus increasing the likelihood you will succeed at actually changing something, rather than trying to change your entire life all at once, realizing how difficult it is, failing, and giving up
18. New year, finally click OK to install that software update

Brendan Leonard’s new book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, is out now.