Meet the Most Whimsical Bears of 2023

I spend way too much time worrying about bears.

My anxiety has nothing to do with actually encountering one. I live in the Denver suburbs and am about 100,000 times more likely to be ambushed and eaten by a pack of schnauzers than by a hungry bruin. No, I fear for the safety and wellbeing of the bears themselves, because I read the steady march of tragic bear stories that pop up almost every day.

Bear-human relations have suffered multiple setbacks over the last month. In Telluride, Colorado, parks officials recently euthanized a sick male black bear, and a necropsy revealed the animal’s intestines were plugged with paper towels, disinfectant wipes, napkins, and plastic. It had probably transformed someone’s unattended trash can into an all-you-can-eat buffet. In British Columbia this past Saturday, September 16, officials killed a mama bear and her two cubs after they attacked a woman walking her dogs. Last week in Montana, a hunter named Rudy Noorlander survived a horrifying grizzly attack—the animal tore his jaw off before escaping into the forest. The encounter occurred not far from a fatal grizzly mauling back in July, which prompted Montana officials to kill the bear they believe was responsible.

Here at Outside, we discuss these sad bear stories in our daily news meeting, and we often bring up the dynamics that lead to unfortunate bear news. There’s been plenty of smart reporting and research on the topic. The wildland-urban interface continues to expand across the west, as neighborhoods and condo developments push deeper into bear territory. The surge in backcountry recreation means more hikers, campers, and hunters are venturing into their habitat than ever before. Climate change and pollution upend the food chain, forcing bears to rely on trash and leftovers. Some campers are careless. So are some homeowners. And who can ignore the reckless tourists at Yellowstone National Park?

Yes—we’re to blame for the tragic bear-human encounters. Sometimes I wonder if—as my colleagues at Backpacker have surmised—the bears are simply sick of our shit, and have teamed up with moose, cougars, Yellowstone bison, and Spanish orcas to pester humankind whenever they can.

Luckily, there is a cure to my anxiety: the far-less-frequent stories of whimsical encounters between mankind and Ursidae. You likely know the content I’m referencing: bears having fun on playground equipment; bears drinking beer, and of course, bears stealing candy from gas stations. And lucky for me, this year has produced more than a few photographs, videos, and reports of bruins having a good ol’ time with human infrastructure.

I am here to present the Most Whimsical Bears of 2023—thus far.

Disney World’s Hairiest Visitor

A female black bear went to Disney World on Monday, September 18. Can you blame her? According to a website called DisneyTouristBlog, late September is one of the best times to check out the Orlando-area theme park, due to the shorter lines and comparatively low probability a hurricane making landfall. It’s no surprise why a bruin would venture into the park: Florida black bears are making a comeback after the population dwindled to just 300 individuals in the 1970s. And Disney World is legendary for its frozen Mickey Bars. The bear in question, however, spent most of its time within the park sitting in a tree. According to NBC News, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission captured the bear in the tree and relocated it. But not before Disney officials had to close several park areas, including Big Thunder, Mountain Railroad, A Pirate’s Adventure, and alas, even the Hall of Presidents. Nobody knows whether the bear attempted to enter the latter attraction to view the animatronic Theodore Roosevelt. 

Alaskan Doughnut Bandits

Two Alaskan black bears will be telling their grandcubs of this impressive score for years to come. Last week the two raided a van that was delivering Krispy Kreme doughnuts to a convenience store located on a military base. According to the Associated Press, the driver left the van door open when he stopped by the store, and returned to find a mama bear and her cub devouring the glazed treats inside the vehicle. The driver and others banged on the side of the van in an attempt to shoo them away, but the bears just kept on gorging themselves on the sweet treats. “I could hear them breaking open the packages and everything,” the store’s manager, Shelly Deano, told the AP. “I was like, ‘They don’t even care.’”

Eventually, someone pulled an alarm at the store, and the noise scared the animals off into the woods. But not before they pulled the greatest food heist of all time for Alaskan bears.

Colorado Selfie Bear

The year started with a charming bear story in my home state. A wildlife camera stationed on a hill outside Boulder, Colorado, snapped photos of a curious black bear in November, 2022, and city officials published the images in January. The photos show a black bear that appeared to try out different poses for the camera. Of course we’re all familiar with the grainy black-and-white images of deer and cougars and squirrels snapped by wildlife cameras. Usually, these motion-activated devices capture a picture of an animal as it is passing from point A to point B. That wasn’t the case with this animal, which of course the internet dubbed “selfie bear.” It spent quite a long time in front of the camera. Of the 580 pictures taken that night, 400 of them were of the bear in question. And he (or she) tried out various poses—much as you likely did before uploading your profile picture to Instagram.

The Tripod of Magnolia Plantation

Shout-out to Christine Hauser at The New York Times for her soulful profile of a three-legged black bear living near a gated community of patio homes outside of Orlando. The locals in Magnolia Plantation—the sub-development in question—have dubbed the bruin “Tripod,” and treat it like a neighborhood stray cat. They snap photos of it, post about it on Facebook, and regale each other with stories of its mischief. One source, Josuary Faneite-Diglio, said Tripod rummaged in her garage and scored a find that any college kid would appreciate: a case of mango and strawberry White Claw. The story’s money quote comes from a man appropriately named Mike Orlando, who has watched Tripod for the last decade. “During breeding season he was hanging out with a female,” Mr. Orlando said. “He does things a little bit slower than the other bears but he is still a bear. For the most part he has been, for lack of a better term, a good bear.”

The Pork Chop Thief

The only thing better than a story of bear shenanigans is a video that aptly captures the high jinks. In June, video circulated online of an acrobatic bear doing his best Adam Ondra impersonation on the side of a house in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. According to the homeowner, the bear had entered through a downstairs window and then climbed stairs to the second story, where it became stuck. It attempted to flee the scene through the window, only to be scared by the height. Eventually it returned downstairs and punched through a screen to flee. Why had the bear broken in? The homeowner had left pork chops out to defrost for dinner, and the hungry bruin helped himself to the feast.